I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Welp...herpes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
