My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
