We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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