why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
