i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
