new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
