just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize