Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
