You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
