Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cynthias hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(858): View more from California

I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.

Fav 40 6288 1469
share tweet
(660): View more from Missouri

We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.

Fav 31 6409 1034
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.

Fav 8 5068 1153
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

Fav 23 1429 3216
share tweet
(760): View more from California

double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

Fav 10 3957 1078
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.

(440): View more from Ohio

anything for my little brother.

Fav 6 5386 1130
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.

Fav 5 3979 1059
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?

Fav 1 650 195
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.

Fav 0 45 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT