forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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