just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
