I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize