sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize