mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
