I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
