You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
