I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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