I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
