therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
