The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
