did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize