I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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