weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
