I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My breasts were aching with rage.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I forget how to act sober
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
