Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
