i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
