Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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