Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
4 words: hood of his car
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
