I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
