Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
