Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
