I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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