Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
