Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
