Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
