I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
