I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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