Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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