can u get pink eye on your cock?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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