I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hippo gnu deer
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize