He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
