Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
