ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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