my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize