You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
