I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
