meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
