Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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