i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
