...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm having to shit out rocks
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