Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
