He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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