Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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