If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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