well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
