Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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