After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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