so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
