who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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