so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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