Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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