So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
