Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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