Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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