I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
