my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
