I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
