You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize