i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
