last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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