ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
