Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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