Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
