I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
