No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
