Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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