Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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