Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize