Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
