your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
