Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
