i barfeds in our rink
only if we run a train.
done.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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